Wedding Origins
We would like to explore with you the origins of wedding celebrations, rituals and myths.

When we engage in rituals, we address our need to feel connected- to ourselves, each other and the world. You may wish to light candles, incense, light fires, chant, play music or recite your favorite poem.  There are many rituals at Matara for guests to participate in, from tying ribbons on a wishing tree, prayer flags, tree dedications, walking the meditative labyrinth or the healing spiral.

Anyone who has had a wedding celebration or even been to a wedding at one time or another has seen a variety of rituals practiced. Many of these traditions have become so commonplace that we dont even question their presence in the wedding, or wonder where they came from or why they began in the first place.

Wedding the word comes from the Old English 'Weddian' to promise, to marry or a derivation of 'wedd' meaning a pledge.

The term 'Bride' the word itself is an Old English and was a name for 'cook'

Wooden Spoons:

The tradition of giving a wooden spoon dates back many years, the wooden spoon was considered to be the most useful utensil to be used by the women of the house in her kitchen and would be used to help and assist the new Bride in her kitchen to enable her to cook and produce the best meals for her new husband, and later her family. An interesting Scottish variation on this custom was the giving of a spirtle (for stirring the porridge) in lieu of a spoon.

Before 1753 there was no formal state involvement in marriages. As far back as Anglo-Saxon times the bride's father would lead a public ceremony, call a 'Bewedding' at which the groom and his family offered guarantees to the bride's guardians that she would be looked after. These offerings were called 'Weds'.

The Honeymonth (honeymoon) was the period of time the groom and his bride were in hiding from her family and friends. By the time the family had located them, the bride would be pregnant.

Years ago women were deemed to belong to their father. When she married it was therefore her father who 'gave her away' along with her property to the groom - to whom shen then belonged! In some cases the groom was also given a pair of the bride's old shoes to indicate that it was now his responsibility to keep the bride in shoe leather.

Bridal Shower:

When a father did not approve of his daughter's marriage, some of the local townspeople would come together and give the bride an assortment of household items to be used as a dowry.

The groom used to kidnap the bride and hold her on his left arm, so that his sword arm was free to fight off any other suitors. This is why the groom normally stands on the right of the bride during the wedding ceremony. If the groom needed help to kidnap his bride he would ask his best friend to be his 'best man'.

Marraige was often used as a means to bring together two opposing tribes so the families sat opposite sides in order to try and avoid any fighting in the church.

Traditionally men wear their buttonholes on the left lapel pointing upwards, whilst women wear their's on the right lapel. The custom follows on from the early days of jousting, where a knight would wear his lady's colours to represent his love for her.

Rings:

In ancient times when a bride might have worn a ring made of hemp or rushes, which would have been frequently replaced. The ancient Egyptians believed that the circular shape of the ring was a sign of undying, never ending love, a love without beginning or end. Some of the early engagement rings were also used as a wedding ring to show the 'sale' of the women from her father to the groom, they were usually made of gold as a sign of the groom's wealth. The perfect finger for the wedding ring to be worn on is believed to be the third finger of the left hand, as it was traditionally thought that this contained a vein that went straight to the heart.

A bride may be given a silver sixpence and be asked to place it in her shoe on the wedding day. Although this may sound a very uncomfortable way to walk around on the day, the giver is hoping that it will bring you a life of fortune so it may turn out to be a small price to pay if it works!

'Something Old, Something New, Something borrowed, Something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe'

Nearly every couple is aware of the old rhyme but what does it all signify? The 'Something Old' is to show the durability of marriage and the continuity of your old life into your new married one. 'Something New' symbolises the start of building your new life together as a married couple. The 'Something Borrowed' item is the one which you may wish to choose most carefully as it should be from a happily married women whose virtues you most wish for, to assist in ensuring marital bliss. The 'Something blue' is used to promise love, fidelity and purity.

Wedding dress:

In the ancient world of the Greeks and the Romans, brides were normally dressed in white for the wedding ceremony. The white robes were used to symbolize youth, joy and purity. Despite this, white wedding dresses have not always been in fashion in this country and only came to the force in Victorian times as a show of wealth. The symbolism of a white wedding dress as denoting virginity is of fairly recent orgigins, but is probably an adaptation of the ancient association with purity.

The bridesmaids were tradtionally dressed as beautifully as the bride to confuse any evil spirts who may have been waiting to snatch the bride.

Wedding Veil:

The Veil can be traced back to Roman times when it was a complete head to toe cover. In a custom dating back to arranged marriages, the groom's family very rarely let him see the bride prior to the ceremony. The groom is displeased with the bride's look may have refused to marry her. Only after completion of the wedding ceremony was the groom permitted to lift the veil and see the bride for the first time.

Wedding Purses (Dorothy bag) was carried by the bridesmaid to carry the confetti in. Throwing confetti is probably a relic of former fertility rights. Variations occur throughout the world, flowers, petals, grain, cakes, sugar almonds and rice are all used. The modern use of the dolly bag is as a conveneince wedding accessory for acrrying some of the brides or bridesmaids personal effects.

The Kiss: In Roman Times a kiss was seen as a legal bond that sealed all contracts, and has become a staple ending to a wedding ceremony.

Wedding Flowers: The flowers at your wedding will reflect your personality and character, so chose the flowers for the table, button holes and bridal bouquets that symbolize your feelings about your relationship.

The presence of flowers in the wedding ceremony symbolizes fertility, new life and never ending. Flowers are often chosen according to their symbolic meaning for the bridal bouquet. Chrysanthemums for truth, red chrysanthemum means ' I love you' ferns for sincerity, freesias for friendship, heather for good luck, ivy to represent a long lasting marriage.

Wedding Bouquet:
In the 14th Century, it was customary for the bride to toss her garter to the male guests, but frequently the men got too drunk and would become impatient and try and remove the garter ahead of time. In the interests of decorum the custom changed to tossing the bridal bouquet.

The bride is supposed to throw her bouquet over her shoulder to all those unmarried female guests present. In theory the person who catches the bouquet will be next to marry. Tosing the bouquet in Engalnd it was believed that the bride could pass along her good fortune to others.